Posted by fayeroe on July 27, 2010, at 11:18:44
In reply to Re: Rewards...Bob, I babblemailed you » Dr. Bob, posted by fayeroe on July 27, 2010, at 11:01:15
> > > I've been thinking more about the point system, and although I still feel very uncomfortable about it, I am beginning to see that there might be some value in it.
> > >
> > > The kind of post that is typical of the psychology board ... is usually about feelings, often quite extreme feelings, where the poster is looking for understanding, empathy and support. To rate this is, to my mind, not possible through the fixed, yes/no questions that would be required for a points system.
> > >
> > > I would like to suggest that the points system, if it is to be implemented, should be tried out first on the medication board, and only at a later stage, with much consultation with the users, on the psychology board.
> > >
> > > vwoolf
> >
> > Thanks for being willing to consider the potential benefits.
> >
> > If a poster is looking for understanding, empathy, and support, they could simply reward those who respond with understanding, empathy, and support:
> >
> > http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100714/msgs/955117.html
> >
> > That's a good point, thanks, lots of times it's better to roll out changes in stages.
> >
> > --
> >
> > > If someone routinely forgets to "thank" my posts while "thanking" others, I certainly note it and recognize I am unhelpful to that poster and think twice about responding to them.
> >
> > May I ask if you feel hurt by that?
> >
> > > Lots of things are a fact of life. Lots of things are true. I thought it had long since been decided on Babble that just because something was true, pointing it out was not necessarily either civil or kind.
> >
> > I agree, pointing out that someone hasn't been thanked many times might be considered uncivil.
> >
> > > Could you tell me how you'd feel if a poster rated everyone else on a thread helpful except you? If your ranking was lower than that of the average poster? Pretend you're one of the less confident and assured people when answering.
> > >
> > > Dinah
> >
> > I might post that I feel unappreciated and unhelpful. Someone else might post what they like about me. I might feel appreciated and reward them for being helpful to me. And then I might feel helpful to them.
> >
> > --
> >
> > > it would do the weeding out of less "helpful" responders that Dr. Bob seems to desire
> > >
> > > Dinah
> >
> > > > I sense a lot of anxiety
> > >
> > > I don't sense any anxiety in our posts. I think that frustration is a more accurate description.
> >
> > For example, I sense anxiety about being hurt and being weeded out. I certainly do sense frustration, too!
> >
> > > I feel that hurting someone with a "reward/points" system would be awful. There are posters here who lived through something like that when they were in their parent's home and this could produce feelings that they have worked hard to overcome.
> > >
> > > fayeroe
> >
> > How might parents hurt a child with a reward system?
> >
> > Bob
>
> Bob, I babble mailed you about rewards hurting children. I won't post the specifics regarding your question here on the board. I hope you read it because it is a classic example of how parents can hurt their children by "handing out gold stars".
>
>So I remembered that you could use anything I wrote and decided to not babble mail you with the specifics regarding parents hurting children with a rewards system.
I saw two children who were deeply hurt by their parents as they grew up. One was rewarded and the other child was mostly ignored. They did not become close until they were grown men. (They are brothers.)
poster:fayeroe
thread:952980
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100714/msgs/956114.html