Posted by emmanuel98 on June 5, 2011, at 19:48:10
In reply to Child Abuse/Familydysfunction.. lets chat, posted by Lamdage on June 5, 2011, at 14:17:44
It took years of therapy for me to figure this all out. I left home when I was 14 and shut the door on it. I never talked to anybody about my childhood, including the psychiatrist and various social workers and counselors I saw when I was committed to state institutions from 14 -16. Then, once I got through my adolescence, I never talked to a soul about that, not even my husband. I did not regard the person I was as a child as me or having anything to do with me. I became macho, tough, hard-edged.
I didn't forgive or not forgive my parents. I visited at holidays and regarded them as difficult people I needed to deal with, just as I had difficult co-workers I needed to deal with. By the time I was in my late twenties, I felt sorry for them and how limited they were as people.
Fortunately (for me) they died when I was in my early thirties and I was never presented with the pressure to care for them in their old age.
I started therapy at 49. This is when I first talked about my parents and childhood to somebody. I now forgive them whole heartedly. They were very flawed people. On the other hand, my mother was not abusive, just neglectful because of her own inadequacies. My father was abusive but not as vicious and sadistic as some fathers I learned about when institutionalized. There was no sexual abuse. He just had no control over his anger and I suspect he was abused by his own father.
> Hey,
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> im curious.. Are some of you willing to share their story/thoughts?
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> 1. What impact did your parents (eventual) mistreatment have on your life?
> 2. Where you in denial about it? How did you discover your emotions/ resentment?
> 3. Do you still have contact with them? Did you forgive them? Why?/Why not?
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> Id love to hear some of you.. i feel so alone right now
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poster:emmanuel98
thread:987213
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110511/msgs/987247.html