Posted by daisym on November 13, 2004, at 14:59:33
In reply to Re: T's address, posted by toomuchpain on November 12, 2004, at 8:26:44
I think I want to clarify that I don't think there is anything "bad" or "wrong" about the urge to know more about your therapist...to drive by, have their home number, google them, find out what their spouse looks like, etc. In any intimate relationship there is a need to know. And, I think, in some ways to balance things. Is there any other relationship that you have that is so one sided?
I think I was cautioning to curb the urge because I've heard horror stories (here and other places) where therapist were not understanding at all about these urges. They reacted badly and it really changed the nature of the relationship.
The other reason is that the reality you discover might not fit with what you see in the consulting room. I think it was someone on this board who saw their therapist have a hissy about getting cut off while driving. Not exacty the calm, "I can handle anything" person we would expect. This is why the blank slate idea for therapist has been around for a long time. I have been very tentatively started working on anger...I don't "do" anger very well. First I asked my therapist what he looked like angry, did he yell? He told me he has been known to raise his voice but not very often. Does he curse? Throw things? (I had a lot of questions!) That was a few weeks ago. This week I told him that if he got mad, I didn't think I could handle it if he yelled at me. He said he knew that, so he wouldn't. But I said I already knew that he "might". He said maybe he shouldn't have told me that then...
The more we know, the more we have to work through.
poster:daisym
thread:414649
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041113/msgs/415494.html