Posted by shrinking violet on November 13, 2004, at 17:54:43
In reply to Re: am I horrible for *not* feeling guilty for it??? » shrinking violet, posted by JenStar on November 13, 2004, at 13:52:31
So I'm a *little* horrible? ;)
I agree that for some people it might become an obsession (I agree that following a T around town is over-the-top), but I don't think it's that way for me (I hope not!). Actually, I think if I ever actually saw my T on her property or on her deck, etc as I drove by, it might be too weird. I just like seeing her house and the beautiful farm she lives next to. My T probably means more to me than she should in a personal way, and it's hard during the week not being able to walk into her office and sit down and spend time with her whenever I feel like it (and I haven't seen her at all in the past 4-6 weeks b/c I reacted to a bad session by quitting, although I am seeing her again this coming week), but I think I'd know when I crossed the line (or at least I hope I would....I'm afraid I wouldn't).
I still feel a little weird about it now, maybe because I shared something so private and meaningful to me? :-/ Hm, I'll probably think a lot more before I drive by her house again. *sigh*
Thanks Jen & 10derheart.
> hi Violet,
> it definitely does NOT make you *horrible!* I don't know what it means, exactly, but NOT horrible. Maybe just: needy, curious, wanting more?
>
> I think there is a line between normal curiousity and obsessive following. That line is subjective and a bit different for everyone, but I think most people would agree that you're on the "normal" side.
>
> I don't think there's one of us who haven't -- at SOME point in life (high school? college?) tracked down a crush or a professor or an acquaintance, eager to understand how they live, hoping to learn more about them. Many people buy maps to the stars' houses in Hollywood...and we LOVE reality shows!.. which give us insight into the secret lives of other people. (There was even a Seinfeld episode where Jerry got a woman's unlisted # off an AIDS benefit charity donation list, or something like that!)
>
> I think it's OK to find out some basic details about your T. These details might help ground your understanding.
>
> I think it WOULD become obsessive if you DID start wandering around the property, or following her in her car, or sneaking up & eavesdropping on conversations, or parking/watching like a paparazzi, etc. That would be kind of scary, because it would indicate an unhealthy obsession and ultimately would hurt YOUR life - you'd be spending too much time thinking about her, and not enough about you.
>
> But it sounds to me that you're only doing the normal curious "human" kind of snooping.
>
> Anyway, I don't think you should beat yourself up about not beating yourself up. :) My advice would be: Just accept that you're a moderately curious person, you learned something about how she lives, and you're OK with that.
>
> take care!
> JenStar
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poster:shrinking violet
thread:414649
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041113/msgs/415561.html