Posted by Dinah on April 28, 2011, at 8:00:49
In reply to Re: Why do we want our Ts to like us? » pegasus, posted by Daisym on April 27, 2011, at 0:56:27
I think Daisy has a really good point. It does feel safer to be with people who like you, particularly in such intimate circumstances.
And, as she says, there's nothing pathological about that. I would think a therapist ought to be more concerned, in long term therapy, about a client who doesn't care if they are liked or not.
Of course the ideal is to be exactly who we are deep down and still be liked. To be liked unconditionally. If we have to pretend to be someone else to be liked, who is it who is being liked? Yet who of us, when we're totally being ourselves, is entirely likeable? Maybe when we really feel safe enough, we can settle for being liked much of the time, and occasionally being loved (or cared about) even when we aren't being particularly likeable. It's not easy to feel that safe.
poster:Dinah
thread:983719
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/983947.html