Posted by Annabelle Smith on June 29, 2011, at 12:04:59
In reply to Re: update, posted by emmanuel98 on June 28, 2011, at 21:23:00
I was thinking about this, Emmanuel, last night since I read your post-- what you said about this relationship being limited and perhaps it not being wise to invest too much into it.
It pains me so incredibly much that it is limited and rather one-sided...and yet...
Yet I think it is a real relationship in the here and now, similar too and yet different from any other.
It is similar in that a way, all relationships are destined to end at some point. I remember when I spent several studying in Scotland several years ago-- I often thought to myself: why bother. Why bother investing in people that I will never see again and probably never speak to again. I am just wasting my energy and will have a painful good-bye in a few short weeks. But then I thought that I had to do it anyway-- because that is the only way to live. I had to love them and invest in them anyway. Even if I will never see or speak to them again-- and many, if not most of them, I won't-- I loved and knew them deeply for a time and that I will always have. Our lives crossed paths and the relationships changed us both forever.
There are a lot of people that I am around these days that I could easily just not invest in, because I doubt I will be around them much longer, but I have to invest a lot anyway.
I think the same is true with my therapist, although it is different too. That is, the nature of the relationship is different. Yet, I think what I need more than anything is to precisely invest deeply in this relationship-- to commit to in on my end, knowing that he is also committed with firm boundaries.
It hurts and I often feel angry and jipped, but I have heard that this is the way to healing, perhaps for me, this is the way to a secure attachment and to object constancy and deep love that will become possible in other areas of my life.
Or maybe not. It seems a risk. a huge risk.
poster:Annabelle Smith
thread:989669
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110511/msgs/989764.html