Posted by LittleGirlLost on July 8, 2005, at 14:57:20
In reply to Re: Need help figuring out feelings..... please?, posted by daisym on July 8, 2005, at 11:03:24
Daisy,
Thank you so much for your response. Very thoughtful and insightful! These feelings are definitely at my core, which I am sure makes it feel that much worse. And like you said, it DOES feel "life or death" when she is not around whereas with other people it's a different kind of worry. I can understand and relate to so much of what you said, but I'm not even sure I feel comfortable having all these feelings. It's like I am making her into a mommy, but what if she doesn't like that? Truthfully, I understand it all and know it's part of the process, and I know she likes working with that aspect as she is psychodynamic, but I guess I don't like to admit just how intense the feelings are, ya know?
> I think you were very brave to call her backup therapist. And I'm glad he was honest with you.
Thanks! I hope so! I'm surprised I called, but I felt desperate. I just worry that I did something "bad" though since she didn't actually give me his number and say he was covering. She gave it to me once last year. I think we both knew I would never call someone else, so I don't mind that she didn't give me the contact name this time. But I do feel bad for doing it on my own.
> The sadness is probably a mix of missing her and having her "real life" so in your face. When you bump up against those boundaries, you do feel bruised.
Yes.... :( ouch!
And today I feel something like.... Look how close you came to getting hurt, or even worse! How can you do that to me!
Ohnooo, now I still have to worry she has a safe flight back. The good thing is, I asked her if she would call me when she gets back and she said she would. I think that's cool. :)
> It sounds like you have a lot to talk about. When do you see her again? Keep posting if it helps. I can really sympathize with your feelings. But if you think about it, at least you found out that her backup is someone nice and easy to talk to, should you need to call again.Thanks so much Daisy. I see her next Thursday. I feel a little weird... I wonder what we will talk about. I mean, sure I will tell her how I was worried, but I don't know about the rest. I'm still confused about the associated feelings.
Have to run; I'm at work.
~LGL
poster:LittleGirlLost
thread:524903
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/525005.html