Posted by Daisym on July 8, 2005, at 19:08:36
In reply to Re: Need help figuring out feelings..... please?, posted by LittleGirlLost on July 8, 2005, at 14:57:20
******but I guess I don't like to admit just how intense the feelings are, ya know?*****
Yes, I know. I totally know. I think I cried through most of my session yesterday admitting how intensely I missed him and how hard it was to "survive" the two weeks he was away. AND I rail against just "surviving" it...
It is such a painful thing. But I've been thinking about yesterday's session a lot and while there are some hard decisions for me to make, I do realize that being able to truly be honest about how difficult it was for me, is growth. And to let the emotions out, to be that raw and vulnerable with him, when it was about him, is huge. Because most of my life I've been trained to never, ever, ever, reveal anything that has the potential to make someone else feel bad, especially if it was with regards to my feelings. You swallow hurt feelings, you don't discuss them! I didn't do it perfectly, there were lots of "I'm sorry" and lots of trying to take some of it back, "I'm just being silly" -- but mostly I let the build up of emotions wash out. And he didn't get mad, or drown in my tears, he said he felt bad that I had such a rough time and he was glad I told him.
That is my really long winded way of saying that I'm sure your therapist will understand your grief and worry and that it will help if you share it with her. And I strongly doubt that she will think you did something "bad" -- she will be pleased that you were so resourceful in taking care of yourself. I can't imagine how distraught you would have been for more than a week if you hadn't called. So don't worry.
I wish it was easier on you than this. I'll hold your hand until Thursday if you want.
Daisy
poster:Daisym
thread:524903
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/525131.html