Posted by shrinking violet on October 28, 2004, at 19:01:07
In reply to Re: she sent me a card :-( SV and gardenergirl, posted by sunny10 on October 28, 2004, at 15:33:09
>> I'm wondering if you have a fear of confrontation which is making all of your interactions difficult.
Wow, that's quite possible. I think in my case too, when I was a child, I was never acknowledged when I tried to verbalize something (unless it was someone pushing me off, or telling me to shut up). When I started writing my mother notes and leaving them around, I'd get a much more positive reaction. So, yeah, I do think I am very insecure when it comes to facing people and "confronting" them in whatever way. I also become physically uncomfortable, where I'll avert eye contact, not say much at all, and sometimes become defensive. This reaction, of course, makes the other person react, and not in a very positive way either since they don't know why I do it or that I can't really control it.
>> I'm wondering whether we can suggest therapy IM sessions... we seem to be better at typing our feelings, with no one's face reacting to what we say....True that it wouldn't "cure us" of these insecurities and fears, but it might help get us started until face to face was possible, thus helpful to a "cure".You know, I've actually thought of that. My T woudn't go for it, though, she's very much a face-to-face therapist (hm, aren't they all? lol). Although, she did at one time suggest that I go to her computer and type something to her and then let her read it, if I was having trouble saying it to her. I never did it, though...It felt too weird just doing it when she's right there in the room with me!
---> SV- you said
---> "Hm, no, I don't even think I really started. My T and I didn't "do" much therapy...or at least it didn't feel like it. I didn't say much, so, it made it hard. I probably am hurting myself (I'm good at that, at least). I'm such an idiot too...if I had just responded TO HER IN SESSION to the stuff she said, instead of having these latent reactions, this could have been avoided. I always do that...I always get hurt or angry or upset at something that happened during session *after* session, and then I usually lash out at her in email, or I quit with her...*sigh* I'm so unbelievably sick of myself. "
poster:shrinking violet
thread:407966
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/408534.html